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Little Europeans
Despite claims to the contrary, the British are the EU's model citizens
Following Blair’s questionable deal on the European constitution Mark II a chorus of lamenting Europeans asked "Why does Britain always drag its feet over Europe? Why can't perfidious Albion get over its past?” Valery Giscard d'Estaing, former French president and constitutional architect went further and called for Britain to be thrown out of the EU altogether for daring to negotiate against the ‘spirit’ of the Union.
This tired line has become so predictable. It is part and parcel of the recurring charade that comes every few years when a new treaty is dreamt up to further integrate European nations and put more power into centralized rule from Brussels. Britain pretends to negotiate an exception; the Europeans pretend to be horrified; the politicians pretend they will call a referendum and everything carries on in the same fashion until the next treaty, eight thousand directives later.
Meanwhile, Britain has become the most European of all European nations.
If ever the legions of Brussels officials want to see how a country looks when subjected to the rules that they dream up with such misty eyed fervour in their air-conditioned offices, or see for themselves how laws made from high intellectual theory translate into practice, they should come and stay in Britain. Because only here can they have a view of what it means to live under EU rules.
It is not clear whether British politicians and officials are secretly trying to compensate for Britain’s image of being ‘bad Europeans’ or simply trying to make up for the inherent loss of face. It could be an inbuilt penchant for carrying out orders. In any case no other European country is prepared to go as far in the pursuit of the ‘European ideal’ when it comes to riding roughshod over traditions and common sense than Britain - all in the name of Europe.
If you don’t believe me then try this: Take a UK health and safety officer armed with a plethora of European health and safety rules and send him to Paris to inspect the cafés' and restaurants' kitchens. How many would pass the test? My guess, none, not even one would be left standing.
Try going to Amsterdam with a health and safety trained British council worker and see what they make of the thousands of rusting, clattering bycicles, infants clinging-on, dodging trams past sex and coffee shops, jumping on and off barely floating boats, manned by merry boaters - glass in one hand wheel in the other - with not a health and safety signpost in sight.
Why is it that when you do-up your house in Britain the ‘district surveyor’ comes round with a bag full of European laws to make you conform to regulations that guarantee your bill goes up three times and turn your home into a fireproof bunker, when all it takes anywhere else in Europe is a lick of paint, a few tiles in the bathroom and some new parquet flooring? Costing a few grand in cash and not an inspector in sight.
How many renaissance and medieval churches in Austria, Italy or Spain would survive the public building crackdown currently gripping Britain where churches are being closed or clobbered with eye-popping bills for structural maintenance, wheelchair ramps and anti-fire regulations and public notices?
Why is it that only Britain is closing down children’s playgrounds and cancelling church fetes, veterans' marches and any traditional way of having fun? Why is Britain the only country really imposing the smoking ban when anywhere else in Europe you can smoke pretty much where you like?
How many terrorists and criminals are being let off elsewhere in Europe because of European human rights infringements? None. In France when they received their Guantanamo ex-cons they stuck them back behind bars without trial. In Britain they were released back into the community as wronged heroes.
Britain has only recently signed up to the European Convention on Human Rights. This goes some way to explaining why British human rights zealots are implementing their ‘lawyers on acid’ scheme to a ludicrous level. In Britain, no criminal can be treated as such and a thousand years of careful lawmaking has been turned on its head. In Europe, having signed up years before, they just ignore it as intellectual claptrap and carry on as before.
The truth about Europe is that the continental Europeans love Europe because they don’t take a blind bit of notice of it. They don’t implement its laws and have no intention of watering down their nation states' control over legislature. French policy seems to be: sign anything, do nothing. Britain’s policy is: haggle over details, sign it and implement it with the zeal that would make Stalin proud.
When a French or German company is blocked from a takeover or by anti-competition rules they simply ignore it with the backing of their own ministers. In Britain, massive european regulation adds billions to the cost of doing business.
Eurosceptics go on about the nightmare of a European super-state to the bewilderment of continentals. In reality you don’t need one, you just have to be mad enough to implement it.
Britain should get into the true spirit of Europe: Set the agenda by proposing the next treaty. Make it as far reaching, undemocratic and federalising as possible so as to make it totally unpalatable for our European partners. Then refuse to implement any of it, and accuse them of dragging their feet.
I thought we were the pragmatists?


